Michael's Story

For many reasons Michael had a difficult childhood. He was the eldest of three children and grew up without really knowing his father. His mother struggled on her own and turned to alcohol to cope with her depression. She had various boyfriends, some of whom were physically and emotionally cruel to Michael, but he kept this secret. Michael had a strong sense of responsibility for his siblings and tried to protect them as best he could from his mother’s partners. As an adult in therapy, Michael described how the anger and hurt he felt as a child fuelled his desire to succeed at school. He had worked his way up the career ladder to become a successful person in his profession. However, while on the surface Michael seemed like he had his life together, he was in fact on a personal level, very unhappy and took this out on the people closest to him. Whenever he got into a new relationship he felt extremely happy and hopeful, but after several months he would often begin to feel unsettled and had aggressive outbursts that seemed to come out of nowhere. Invariably, when his relationships ended Michael turned to alcohol to blot out the feelings of failure and worthlessness. Although initially frightened of facing his past, Michael found the courage to eventually seek therapy. “I wish I’d had it [EMDR] sooner. I feel clear and calm in myself for the first time ever.” EMDR aims to stop past traumatic experiences being relived in the present. For Michael, he was able to connect, process and then let go of the fear and shame he carried from his childhood so that he could feel more connected in relationships in his adult life.